Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
