Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
