he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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