I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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