your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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