I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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