I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
