dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
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You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
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I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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