wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
