Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
