You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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