we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize