And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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