Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize