Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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