Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize