he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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