Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
