Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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