if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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