My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
