Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Fuck appropriateness.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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