its not stalking. its research.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
