I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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