So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm having to shit out rocks
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