I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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