sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
