pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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