Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
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You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
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Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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