If i could tip my vagina, i would.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
