Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
