the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
