Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
worst night to have a conscience
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize