sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
