let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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