Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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