did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
