I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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