I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
