I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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