my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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