I heard we made out
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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