the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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