I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
