so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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