i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
