who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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