Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
