my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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