3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize