no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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