Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
