So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
its liver damage thursday
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
