This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
