Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
