I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
