And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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