I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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