READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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