I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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