dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
that's an acceptable place to lick
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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