Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
How does one acquire holy water?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
